Thursday, 3 March 2016

Poised and ready

I'm now 40 weeks.

Actually to be precise, 40 weeks and 2 days.

It was at this point in my last pregnancy that I went into labour, although she didn't make an appearance until 3 days later.

So here I am, poised and ready. I'd forgotten what this felt like.

Of course, it's very different this time around. I can't sit around watching box sets and reading, I've got a 4 year old who still needs walking to nursery and entertaining when she's not there. Plus I'm much more mobile this time as shelling out for osteopathy means I'm still actually able to walk unaided which I didn't expect to be honest. So I've been trying to keep myself active in the hope it would bring labour on quicker. No such luck.

Everything the books and articles tell you to get ready have been ready for a while now. My hospital bag (even though I'm hoping not to go to hospital) has been packed for about three weeks, the cot is up, I've got a few meals in the freezer and we're stocked up on nappies. In practical terms, I'm prepared.

But the mental preparation is proving harder. I was quite calm about everything until a few days ago, but now I'm officially past my due date I'm starting to feel anxious. Even though I'm still a long way off talk of induction, I worry about being pressured into it. I worry about the snow that's coming tomorrow and whether that will stop the midwives getting to me in time. I worry that something will happen which will mean I don't get my long-dreamed-of home birth.

And of course I'm now getting the 'still here?' comments from people I see and the 'any news?' texts and calls. Which is only adding to my anxiety. Because I feel like I'm being watched, monitored. That isn't really a good way to feel when you want labour to start.

And that's the thing isn't it? I'm ready for birth, but while I feel anxious, my body isn't ready. But the longer I wait, the more anxious I get. It's just a vicious circle.

I've been taking antenatal classes this time which have included relaxation techniques, and been listening to a hypnobirthing CD at home, so I've been amazingly calm up until now. But now it's just not cutting it. I'm not a patient person, I can't handle the wait!

I suppose it's just a case of taking deep breaths, distracting myself, and remembering that this baby WILL come out eventually. And remembering also that even if I don't get my home birth, it is possible to have a good birth.

How did you cope with the anxiety of waiting? If you have any tips I'd love to hear them!

Linking up with #BlogBumpClub through the Budding Smiles blog.

2 comments:

  1. I kept myself busy and distracted in my first pregnancy - as we moved house on my due date and had plenty to do! I went into labour 4 days later and had O around 26 hours later. This time, I know I'm being induced tomorrow (eeek!) so I'm enjoying my time with my 4 year old before baby arrives. It is difficult to stop yourself googling and wondering when it will happen though - hope you get plenty of rest x

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  2. Oh gosh I'm having the annoying "Still here" comments and I still have 11 days until she's due! It's good that you were able to keep active and having a child already does change the dynamic of these final weeks doesn't it?!xx #BlogBumpClub

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