Saturday, 14 January 2017

A Week In The Life Of A Baby Sock


Monday, 0700
Ahh, here I am in the nice dark drawer, tucked up with my twin. Lovely.

Monday, 0716
Wait, what's going on? What's that light? Oh no, she's opening the drawer! Pick some other socks today, please pick some other so- noooooo!

Monday, 0722
You can't do this to us, I'm clinging to my twin, you'll never separate u- oh, you did. Ah well, I'll get to see my twin when we're both on his feet. Here, we go, I'm going on ...

Monday, 0725
Wait a minute, where's my twin? You let him crawl off before you put my twin on! Who am I supposed to talk to now?

Monday, 0737
Ah-ha, you caught him at last! OH HI TWIN! I'm so glad you're here for me to talk- hang on- I said I'm so glad you're- I said- BABY! STOP CRAWLING!

Monday, 0813
Ahh good, she's got hold of him. Now, twin, as I was saying - oh. Oh no. Not the bootee. No, don't cover up, don't- mmmm! MmmmMMMMM!

Monday, 0930
*GASP* Free at last! Hi twin! I think he's nodded off so we can have a nice long chat, hurray! So, what's your favourite part of the drawer? I like the top right corner personally, because ...

Monday, 1009
... and then the green dribble bib said to me - oh. Ohhhh. He's moving. He's waking up. Here we go again! Talk to you next nap time!

Monday, 1122
Errg. ERRRGHHH. Grown-up!! Where did she go? He's trying to get me off! Quickly, he's - argh, he's done it! I'm off! Now what's he going to- NO NOT THE MOUTH!! Eurghh! Oh how I wish he'd never got teeth! Owww!

Monday, 1126
Phew, he's dropped me. She'll be over to pick me up soon, I'm sure.

Monday, 1300
Hmm.

Monday, 1324
OK, the baby's coming, Maybe he'll pick me up then she'll remember to put me on. Wait. No. No, don't cover me up with your toys!

Monday, 1441
I can hear the grown up saying, "where's your other sock?" HERE! I'M OVER HERE!

Monday, 1446
Ahh good she's found me at last. And I'm going back on. HI TWIN! What have you been up to while I was- oh no, not the bootee again! MMMMMMMM!

Monday, 1552
*GASP* Thank goodness for that! Oh no, he's awake, I missed nap time! Oh well, as long we can both stay on we can chat when he's sitting still- I said we can ch- We can- Argh, why does this baby never stop crawling??

Monday, 1603
He's stopped! So, twin, I - wait, where did you go?

Monday, 1617
Twin! I can see you under the armchair! Don't worry, I'm sure you'll  be back on soon ... wait, what's that smell?

Monday, 1619
Err, grown up, I think we have a nappy situation here.

Monday, 1623
Oh good, she's noticed. Trousers coming off -mmmffff- ahhh! OK, now grown up, remember to take me off before you - oh no, you opened the nappy first! Right it's OK, just hold tight onto the leg - YOU LET GO! He's kicking, he's - EURGH!

Monday, 1627
OK. It's OK. I'm in the laundry basket. Yes, I'm covered in excrement, but soon she'll pick up my twin and we'll both be in here together.

Monday, 1944
I think the kids are asleep now. The grown ups will be tidying up soon. They'll find my twin.

Monday, 2209
Oh dear.

Tuesday, 0657
Ooh, she's emptying the laundry basket! Here I go into the washing machine! Now grown up, don't forget to look for my twin before you - oh. She shut the door. Ah well, this bit's fun anyway. Whoosh!! Wheeeeee!

Tuesday, 0915
Hmm, the washing stopped a while ago. Did she forget?

Tuesday, 1124
You DID forget didn't you? Never mind, out I come - wait, back in again? Oh right, dry cycle! Wait, before you shut the door, did you find my twin? Oh. She shut the door. Wheeeeee!

Tuesday, 1409
She's forgotten about us again.

Tuesday, 1618
Ahh we're out! In a basket and back in the living room. Wonder if she'll sort us today? Then she'll notice my twin's missing. I can see her, she's still under the armchair. Poor thing. Must be lonely. HI TWIN! I'll get sorted soon then the grown up will look for you!

Tuesday, 2216
Oh.

Wednesday, 1134
So anyway vest, there I was on the floor of the supermarket when - Oooh! She's sorting us! Out on the floor we go! Bye vest! I can see the piles forming around me. Argh, get off baby! Why does she insist on sorting laundry when the baby's crawling around? Oww, stop biting me! Oh good, she's rescued me. To the top of the sock pile I go. That's right! I'm missing my twin! She's over there! Oh wait, you're distracted by the baby pulling things out of the basket. That's it, distract him with a toy. Well done! You got us all in the basket! Now once you've put us away you'll look for my twin won't you? She's under the armch- woah, up the stairs we go! OK, staying on the landing for a bit, then you'll put me in the drawer, yes? Top-right corner, that's my favourite.

Wednesday, 2214
Oh.

Thursday, 1445
Oof! She's put another basket on top! When are we going in the drawer? Is my twin in the other basket? TWIN! ARE YOU THERE?

Thursday, 1757
Ahh you've remembered to put us away! That's it, into the drawer - hmm, bottom left. Ah well, that's fine. You'll no doubt be getting my twin out of the other basket soon, yes? Hello? Why is it all dark again?

Friday, 0724
Hmmph. In the wrong part of the drawer, and no twin to talk to. I hope they've at least got her out from under the armchair. Oooh wait, daylight! Hi, where's my twin? Oh you're just getting another pair of socks. Never mind.

Saturday, 0919
Daylight again! Could it be ...? TWIN! There you are, now all she needs to do is pair us up and ... no wait, you've left my twin in the top right corner! THAT'S MY SPOT!

Sunday, 0822
Oh twin, I can't hear you over all the other clothes. Will we ever be together again? Ooh, she's opening the drawer ... oh. Just getting another pair. Oh but wait! She's pairing some other socks up! Hey! Over here! YAY you picked us up! Ahhh me and my twin, together again at last!

Monday, 0700
Ahh, here I am in the nice dark drawer, tucked up with my twin. Lovely.


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