Sunday, 15 October 2017

Sibling Resemblances

A few days ago I bumped into a friend at Toddler's baby signing group. "He really looks like Girl Child, doesn't he?" she said. Now, personally, I don't see it. As newborns they were practically identical despite Toddler being almost a pound heavier, but now I think they look very different.

But then I saw an old photo of Girl Child when she was a little younger than Toddler is now. This photo, to be precise.

And suddenly I saw the resemblance. Not because Toddler would also nick my ice cream given half a chance (although he totally would) but there's something about that little sideways glance that reminds me of him.

In lots of ways, they are very different. Toddler has brown eyes whereas Girl Child's have always been a piercing blue. Toddler was a super chilled baby whereas Girl Child spent most of her early months crying. At 19 months, Toddler only has about 15 words and most of those are animal noises, whereas Girl Child had almost 200 words by this age (yes, I counted - she was the Precious First Born!!) and was starting to talk in sentences. Toddler's first word was 'mama' whereas Girl Child didn't get to that until she had around 20 other words - including 'dada'. Thanks for that, Girl Child.

But then in other ways they are very alike. Despite Toddler crawling much earlier, they both walked at 13 months. They are both clamberers, Toddler more so but I think that's mainly because he has a 5 year old to try and emulate. Both love cuddles. Both love books - Toddler will carry books over and demand a reading much like Girl Child used to. Interestingly, Toddler recently acquired a word for dog - a whispered "ferfer" like the quietest woofing in the world - which is exactly the sound Girl Child used for dog too.

Toddler adores Girl Child and wants to be just like her. If we're at a playground he will try to do what she's doing, much to my distress at times. He loves to dress up like she does, with fairy wings and wands. He flicks through her books, even the ones with hardly any pictures. When I used to take him along to her football classes he would gaze at her through the door, and now will kick a ball around like her. It's lovely to see him trying to keep up with her!

I think it's natural to compare siblings - not only looking at old photos, but thinking about when they hit milestones, how they behave and so on. I try to remind myself not to compare them, but actually, I think it's fairly normal to use your older child as a kind of reference point. Yes, sometimes it causes anxiety, but a lot of the time I'm reassured that actually Toddler is doing pretty well. I'm sure as they get older they will become more individual, but for now, I'm enjoying the resemblances and trying not to worry about the differences.

Linking up with Day 15 of #Blogtober17 - Old Photos.



  1. I go through the exact same with my two comparing and contrasting them. I love seeing both similarities and differences. #blogtober17

    1. That's reassuring. I suppose it must be normal, after all we compare ourselves to others, don't we? Whether we should is another question!!