Friday, 28 June 2019

A Collection Of Advice On Toilet Training

Wait until they're ready. But if you leave it too late they'll be resistant to the change. If you wait until they're over three you'll be done in a matter of days. Fifty years ago children were potty trained by eighteen months. It's rare for a child to be truly ready before they're two. In some cultures, potties are used from birth. Don't rush it. But if you leave it too long, you're a lazy parent, got that?

Photo by hermaion from Pexels


Signs of readiness include knowing when they're wet, going more than two hours between wees, seeking privacy and asking to use the potty. Signs of readiness are irrelevant as the biological processes needed to be ready occur between 24 and 30 months. You must start as soon as they're ready - any delay can confuse them. But make sure you can drop everything for at least a week to get them started.

It's best to use a potty so that you can keep one close. It's best to go straight to the toilet so that you don't have to go through a second transition. With boys you should get them comfortable going sat down first. Get them to wee standing up as that makes it easier when you're out and about. Speaking of which, don't go out for the first week if you can help it. But go about your usual routine. Use pull ups when out and about. Don't use pull ups as that will confuse them. But you have to use pull ups at soft play, it's the rules.

Use a reward chart. Don't use rewards as then they will regress when you withdraw the rewards. Make a big deal of them using the potty/toilet, using lots of praise. Praise should not be excessive and should be purely descriptive, e.g. "look, you did a big wee in the potty!" Make sure you take them to the potty every hour to begin with. Don't take them to the potty too often as they will get annoyed and refuse to go.

If they're truly ready they'll get it in less than a week. Once you've started don't stop as that will confuse them. But if it's been a month they're not ready so go back to nappies. Don't go back to nappies, that's signalling that they don't need to use the potty. If they regress it's probably behavioural. If they regress it's probably due to dietary or health issues. If they regress it's because you didn't do it right the first time.

Oh and this last piece of advice is universal: if you're struggling with potty training, be prepared for people telling you their kid trained in a weekend.

Tuesday, 18 June 2019

Review: 'Can You See Me?' by Libby Scott and Rebecca Westcott

A little while ago I asked on Twitter for recommendations for middle-grade fiction or chapter books featuring autistic characters. Over a year on from diagnosis Girl Child is still struggling with being different, so I thought books would help her with that. I will eventually write a post about the books I was recommended but there was one I read which really stood out for me.


'Can You See Me?' is a collaboration between author Rebecca Westcott and autistic eleven year old Libby Scott. It tells the story of Tally, an autistic girl starting secondary school and having to deal with changing friendship dynamics, unsympathetic teachers and bullying. Interspersed between the chapters are journal entries written by Scott, from the perspective of Tally, talking about what it's like to be autistic and giving a really powerful insight into common traits such as sensory issues, demand avoidance and meltdowns.

I found the story of Tally really involving and moving, to the point where I really didn't want to put the book down and was on the verge of tears at some points. The story is told with such empathy and clarity that it really helped me to understand better the viewpoint of an autistic child - I definitely have more empathy for Girl Child since reading it. I think it would be a really good read for anyone with a connection to an autistic child, particularly people working in schools because it deals a lot with how challenging school can be for autistic children, and how easily misunderstandings can occur.

Because there are some quite intense bullying scenes in the book I'm not sure about letting Girl Child read it yet, I think she would find it too upsetting and might make her anxious for the future. But I do think it would be a good book for children aged 9 or above, whether they are autistic or not. There are a lot of important messages in the book about acceptance and emotional well-being that are universal, and any book that encourages children to see the world from another perspective is really important.

My only very slight reservation with the book is that there are some parts of the story that felt unresolved - for instance, there is a suggestion at one point that Tally's older sister Nell is also dealing with bullying, but this is not followed up. I'm taking this as a positive though, hoping it means there will be a sequel!

Linking up with #ReadWithMe hosted by Mama Mummy Mum and Kids Love To Read #KLTR hosted by Laura's Lovely Blog, Acorn Books and BookBairn.

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